Thank you for such nice comments:)
Kauru - Also not a fan of cukierkowymi stories, after that my stories often affects my mood. I personally do not like Christmas, so not be able at that time to write some sweet, joyous story. I hope that you will not disturb it. :)
Christmas Story
"Glamour Christmas"
teenage blonde standing in the middle of a large clearing. Lunar light falls directly on him. I come closer. Who is it? Is it me? Awareness of one's existence has disappeared with the entry into the clearing. The boy standing in front of me rises eyes and stares at the stars. He is so familiar and yet unknown. Przyozdabiający smile a smile of his face is a happy person. Who is he? The question arises, together with the tide momentary consciousness and vanishes with her. The clearing runs teenager with red hair. For a moment, watching a sad look at the blonde, then grins and throws his arms. "My angel" - the words remembered from a few years appear in my subconscious, but I have time to escape him connect them to a specific memory. After a moment from the trees overlooking the marriage and greets his son. Because their son is blond, right? Subconsciously I knew it was true. Red-haired woman laughs at a joke by an old opowiedzianego a copy boy. Moments later, everyone is laughing. And I looked at it blankly.
scenery has changed. So there is a dream - I thought going with a happy family home. My house. - Told me a little voice in my head. We all sat down to dinner. I stood at the side uncertain whether they can see me. Dumb, he's memories - scolded me in your thoughts the same voice. Memories? But whose? Lack of awareness does not help find an answer. Rudy gave a gift blond and smiled while the other gave him neck. Can an ordinary gift can inspire so much fun? Dinner came to an end. The family decided to go for a walk. The blond man ran across the street, where he started the park. Parents and redhead walked behind him. At some point, the boy turned around and saw them just in the middle lanes. Car came around the bend. The driver had to be drunk and a lot to exceed the speed limit. In the eyes of fair-haired woman appeared in fear, but people on the belts have not noticed anything yet. The boy shouted something. Asked the heads of all in the direction of the car. There was a roar.
23.12
woke up dripping with sweat. I looked at my watch. He pointed out the fourth morning. I got up and went to the bathroom. Trembling hands turned the faucet and washed the remnants of their dreams. I returned to the bedroom and pulled the clothes closet. I went in the shower and turned the icy water. Streaming down my face after mixing with salty tears. Damn! Why again there was this nightmare. For six months I was tormented by this dream, and now returned. What did I do? Why does it need to harass me every night? I came out of the shower, feeling that starts to make me too cold. It is better that I had not been ill for the holidays, because nobody I do not even help. What struck me the meaning of my thoughts. I am alone. If I needed help, no one I can not. From my eyes the tears began to flow again. Strange, I thought that I was already gone. I calmed down and went into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. Opened the fridge and I zrzedła mine. Damn! Even nothing to eat I do not. I winced involuntarily. Always associated barely make ends meet and so far I have lived only with money prescribed by social services. Labour did not have, because the employer believed that the young look, and may have problems. Well, that although the account of parents is a lot of deferred money, but I could not pull them at the moment, I had to wait until I'm 21 years old. I went back to the room for his wallet, looking briefly at his watch. Well five in the morning. I'm lucky that I live two blocks from the-clock supermarket. I came to the decision that now buy only products for breakfast and dinner, and I'll buy more of the normal time.
When I opened the door I was struck by a blast of cold air. Involuntarily shook and shut them quickly. I went back to the room on another sweater, still dressed in the hallway coat, scarf and gloves. Thus prepared, I left the house. As a cold I do not know what I do. - I thought, noting that of course I had to forget the caps. As if my mother lived he probably would remind me of her. I tried to wash away that memory, but I managed to. With gloomy face turned to the page supermarket. My ears are probably freeze - blamed in mind.
breathed a sigh of relief by going to the store. There's nothing like heating. He turned pale when I thought about it. Damn! .. Bill. Like today, it does not pay, then detach the holidays my electricity and heating. I paid for the water at the beginning of the month. I guess. Thinking I was walking along the shelves with all kinds of Christmas gifts. Grimace every time when I looked. Christmas without my family are like a sea without water, simply do not exist. - I said in my mind and went the shelves of bread rolls. I chose the cheapest and recognizing that it is more profitable to me to get more rolls and eat them without anything further than to buy some cheese and cold cuts, napakowałem their entire folder. Along the way, I quit even look at the professional painting sets and soon I was at the checkout. I paid and when I go out I ran into someone.
- sorry - wystękałem, looking at porozsypywane on earth rolls. Cool! On the second I do not. I winced involuntarily, not looking up from my would-breakfast. Well, then for dinner I'll eat anything. This thought frightened me and I started to collect bread from the earth. Crop starve than eat this!
- Can you help - I heard a familiar voice. Itachi! No no bomb, made of himself before the brother of the poor ... that bastard.
- No, thank you - the brain unconsciously gave the order to the throat of my ceasing to these sounds. I got up quickly and did not even glance at the brunet left the store.
I came to the house. When I looked at most of the dirty rozmokniętych rolls, I wanted to cry. Why is this life is so sick! Why though for a moment did I feel happy. If you ask whether you already knew then that in experiencing moments of joy from the man he openly hated. I'd tell you that you are mentally ill. I did not think also that your wish will be fulfilled literally. But too much deviate in the future.
threw half the purchases that were not fit for human consumption, and the rest is consumed in a frighteningly rapid pace. I quit look at his watch. It was almost nine. I shook the house for a moment, then not being able to find a place in it, dressed up and went to pay outstanding bills. But before I got to the mail, the quantity held podliczyłem cash. It was not too much. Probably end up before the new year. I was getting depressed. Another cash get until the third of January. Damn! This is the twenty-third in December! How am I supposed to survive on the pittance barely ONE ficient for a decent lunch? I must be sufficient for ten days. Jebitnie Ten long days! Damn!
went to the post office and paid the bills. Distraught, I went to the house. There is one only way to get money and survive somehow by the end of the month. I stood in the doorway of my room and looked at the pictures lying everywhere. My work. Racked up all those present a happy situation, and some of the sad, and I went heading for the park. Maybe someone will buy them. I began to seriously wonder if I'm not stupid. Eventually the hope is the mother of fools. And I had this sick hope to sell something. I sighed and sat down on some odśnieżonej bench, setting the pre-images. People passed by with indifference, or stopped for a moment to admire them. Nobody, unfortunately, did not buy anything.
was nearly midnight and I have three hours odmarzałem the ass on that cold, but I had no intention to surrender. Not until they sell even a single image. Shivered from the cold and the slow freezing chuchałem hands. If I still had some usable gloves. Cierpiętniczo sighed. She came to me couple in love. They looked with pity and compassion.
- Sam namalowałeś them? - Assented unable to reply zsiniałymi mouth. - We want to buy this. - He pointed to a picture of a couple holding each other hands people, heads toward the sunset. Pronounced low price, but he gave me two more times.
- I do not have to spend - I muttered, as the man smiled pleasantly and shook his head as a sign that does not expect the rest. Forced a smile thus thanking the rescue. Although they did not know about it.
After half an hour already sold a third image. I noticed at the end of the path aimed in my direction brunet. No! - Groaned in my mind. Just do not Itachi again. Unfortunately, for my misfortune, it was an older brother Uchiha.
- Hey young! - He smiled at the sight, and I it only measured the serious look. - What are you sitting? Seller of this? - He asked if they only saw pictures lying on the bench. I nodded nodding. - You've drawn it? - He made big eyes when you read the captions on each picture.
- Yes.
- I could buy one? - Asked, and I once again reaffirmed. He looked at them all and smiled. - This is spodobałby Sasuke - pointed to a painted canvas death did not allow a child to go through the gate, although the steel behind his parents, smiling sadly. Shuddered. Luckily, this is not noticed. - I can not decide between the two. - Showed the corresponding images. - But I guess I'll take it. - He gave me to pack the painting depicting the landscape area, where the swirling sakura petals in the air. He paid, he looked at me as somehow sad and walked away.
I breathed a sigh of relief. This man is bad influences on me. I hate pity and compassion, and he shows me all by myself how I am poor. I felt rage, but it is mastered. Counted earned money. Three out of four people buying paid much more than was proposed by me the price, so I had enough resources would not survive the hunger strike the next ten days. I did not have enough to be able to spend carelessly, but "something" is more than "nothing." I collected pictures and got up. I felt an unpleasant tingling in the legs. Still shaking from the cold, and I knew that at home I have to take a hot bath. Now I kinda got sick not have enough on my medication. Briskly, despite the annoying pain thawed legs, I headed toward my house.
breathed deeply, feeling warm water flowing my whole body. Eh .. At least the bills paid. Do not freeze in the absence of heating, and from time to time I take a little longer warm bath.
This, then complain about the high bills.
Oh there, so far so I did and I'm still alive.
selling the work of his life, instead of becoming an artist.
bit his lip. Getting worse and worse with me. I start talking to himself. Damn! Whether through all of that loneliness? I came out of the shower and wiped a fluffy towel. I created a fast-clothes, that there was no loss of heat and jumped into bed with duvet and covering with a blanket. So what if he is middle of the day. I need a moment to relax and bask in order not to get sick.
I stared at the ceiling thinking.
would it be to be part of society? Do not see the hatred, contempt, indifference? Life on the sidelines, being excluded by the system is overrated. I do not always give us joy. Stop! It is a joy just masochistom. But I'm not. I would like to experience for a while happiness again. The next time that day I thought about my wish.
snorted under his breath. Me and happiness. Perhaps only in my dreams. Would need a miracle to happen to this request, or maybe a dream come true.
- I swear by all that surrounds me that I would give everything that I have and every minute of my life, a moment of happiness.
did not know that this declaration could ever meet, I'll have to keep that oath. Then there were the only satisfaction that I was able to for voice comment on the request and do not cry.
I got up and decided to finally go to the supermarket to get some ingredients, which I could create something similar to lunch. I dressed warmly, this time not forgetting his cap and walked out of the house. The next time that day, the frost hit me in the face, causing uncontrolled shock from the cold. Shook his head resignedly. There's nothing like not control his body.
not hurry up. Besides, why would I do it. Nobody waited for me at home two years ago. I no longer had a mother who would be repeated daily heat dressed so as not to get sick. And when it happened that a disease caught me and took care of me. I had no father, who every day greeted me with a smile and praise your friends, who always tried to be a good father. And finally there was a GO, the only boy, whom I loved, which meant so much to me as parents, that was my goal in life. I guess I will never understand how a split second, a stupid human error, human stupidity, and plain bad luck, could lead to such tragedy. Would not the world is meaningless? Sometimes I honestly feel like a laugh and certainly not with happiness, and how the fuck can do everything in one day.
suddenly exploded with laughter. God! I laugh at "life" in your face, when it pours me. It's probably the only thing I have left. Even when I'm already lying on the bottom, left me my laughter.
I've come to the store and quickly chose the most essential products. Well, I had to supply for four days, since stores will be tomorrow night closed. Legs bent under load bags headed for the door, in which a runaway hit me man. Snarled a curse under his breath. Whore! Again I have to collect food from the earth. Well, this time there is nothing to lay on top. All beautifully packaged in the different types of containers.
- See how they wander hammer! - I heard the hated voice. Strange, but I did not feel angry just devastated. Damn! What popierdolony day! Is tomorrow really is Christmas Eve, is it some sick joke?
rose eye gaze toward the onyx eyes. I had no strength. I saw on his face puzzled. What is not often seen in my eyes the sadness of what he had to see it now.
- Okay, but you are so next time do not hurry. - Again, I stood before my eyes the memory of a drunken driver śpieszącego and my parents along with "him" on the lanes. Odganiając blinked them. Then I picked up the bag and turned around with the intention of leaving.
seemed to me that the bastard hesitated. What's teme want to help, but if you're at it too proud? - I told myself in my mind. Apparently pride prevailed, because the dark-haired man went his own way.
I went home and prepared the dinner. When I finished eating my phone rang.
- Hello? - I received
- Naruto? Kakashi .- Here I heard the voice of my teacher.
- Hello sensei - I said politely.
- How are you? - Frowned on this question, and I thanked the spirit that can not see my face '.
- okay - I lied smoothly. I'm getting better and better in this game. Improvisation can be taught? Or maybe someone finally started to write my script and I speak now issues that are already saved?
- Oh .. That's good. Just wanted to ask a question, did you see today may Sasuke? He went out in the morning and not returned so far - Well Hatake was guardian bastard. Brunet also did not have parents. At the beginning believed that then he would understand me, that we become friends, because it connects us alone. Well once I was naive, now I'm not. The Uchiha did not connect me nothing but competition. If I had known how wrong I was.
- Yes I saw him today near a supermarket, this near my house.
- Oh .. Thanks, though in contact with you let me know.
- Okay. - Hung up and sat in the living room watching TV.
How bad can accommodate this sick planet?
As much as the creatures living on it - told me a little voice in my head.
Damn! I really start freaking out! Sneezed. No! No! No! Now I can not get sick. Potruchtałem to the kitchen and turned the water on the hot tea. I quickly changed into warmer clothes and brought to the living room two blankets and duvets. I went back to the kitchen and flooded mint. Well, a neighbor left her with me when I was sick recently and so far after it did not raise. I took a warm cup of the living room. I sat on the couch with blankets and opatulając linens, then reached for the remote control.
first turned on better program, and again felt the unimaginable grief. Jumped up and down the canals ... family .. family .. family ... love .. family ... love ... family ..
Raging 23rd switched to channel So at least he let me down. At any given time was flying a movie about death. Well there is nothing better.
- I'll kill you! - Said in a hooded figure, and I smiled slightly.
- do not ask, do not! - Screamed the terrified girl took a step backwards.
- come on everyone, when his time comes, no one can change that.
bit his lip and felt the metal stand, oddly reassuring taste of blood.
true. Then it was my fault, like I did not marudził that I want to go out, they would live. With my eyes flowed with tears. Again. Once again one day, but I could now afford to weakness. Nobody is. I am alone. I do not understand it until the end, but my greatest weakness, is a life among the crowds, being alone.
My body shook again sobbing. I've had enough! I do not want to live without life. I would prefer to no longer exist without life. There I was wondering if my reasoning has any sense, I was helpless. For what can one man do against the world. What could make the lonely boy, against the crowds of friends, unfortunately, not him.
I looked out the window. Pouring snow. I will not be forever reflecting on this - I repeated in my mind and every time my eyes flowed with tears the next.
wlepiając lay still look to the window. I no longer cried. Not what I had. "Memories of a blur. Why did you leave me? "- I remembered the words of his old songs. I sang it when she first left me. Now, those words fit better. They are a reflection of my soul. I heard a voice in my head to my boyfriend. "Great singing, I play the guitar, I used to assume the team." - It was so long, but I remember it as if happened yesterday - "Naruse, and sing me once again that your song about unrequited love?"
After a while I saw myself when I wrote the words: "It happens that I do not Recognize your face in my dreams. I wish I could see you everyday That I still remember your face. "I managed to smile even gently, it fell asleep. For the first time for so long a powerful, regenerating sleep.
kindly inform you that the quotes are from my songs, which she herself wrote. And certainly fits both the unrequited love and my life. It was created with some other reason. Anyway, maybe someday I will you read it: P
"Memories of a blur. Why did you leave me?" - Memoirs of a blur. Why did you leave me looking for?
"It happens that I do not Recognize your face in my dreams . I wish I could see you everyday That I still remember your face. "- Sometimes, I do not recognize your face in my dreams. I would like to see your face every day, maybe then I remembered it in.
If it does not itself I find the road, sets her ... "L'histoire est un roman qui a ete, Le roman est une histoire qui aurait pu être." History is the story about what happened, story-story that could happen. 
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