This oneshot was created based on real events. The ending is different than in reality. My friend asked me spliced \u200b\u200bexcerpts from his diary here, so I apologize for the rather chaotic style. In fact, this story ended up a little differently. So I give myself into your hands the next note. Names of the manga have replaced those that fit so please do:
Oneshot "I do not see the bottom"
Hi, I'm Itachi Uchiha. I want to tell you about a boy who knew how to charm everyone with your smile. Even my younger brother Sasuke that was a real challenge. Eh .. This blonde with azure eyes, he was a child prodigy. The world should not lose such people by silly misunderstanding. I could not convey to you the story, if I did not have his diary. Read it, and I will tell you what happened later.
"There are things which you can learn everything about the person. Diary, you are my confidant, does not betray my secrets. "
30/07/2002
Hey I decided to write this diary for two reasons. First I got this book for my birthday the day before his death last person what I have. Well, and the second reason lies in the fact that I myself do not advise it, I do not know what to do. I am eight years old and I was alone. I would cry, but I can not, I ran out of tears years ago when my father died. Now, my mother died .. I want to cry! But I can not .. why life is so fucked up!?
Orphanage is the worst place that exists! I do not want to hang out here and beat me all the hate! I want to have!
20/08/2002
I do not want to talk with anyone. I do not want to see this sick world! .. Waiting to die!
11/09/2006
Almost forgot about this notebook .. Everything posypało .. not even hold on to himself ... I stopped writing .. I have found solace in pain. Let's all leave me. I do not want to look at those ugly faces! I'm waiting just to death!
13/11/2006
who has already once? I do not remember what I was indeed. The only thing that counts is now cold metal touching my skin.
Yeah ...
Now it is feeling the heat radiating through the body ... I can hear my heart beating, the wind outside the window does not exist, and the clock is ticking: tick, so .. And my heart beats the same rhythm: bum, dum ..
So quiet, but I feel like the blood pulsing in my body ... And after your hands slowly flowing red stróżka, after the second leg ... yes, this view is beautiful .. I want it more ...
not stop!
What am I doing?
Again!
Again, I was not able to cope otherwise.
But ... since we already did that ...
This is a wonderful taste ... Is blood like chocolate cause euphoria? Is it an aphrodisiac?
This taste .. sweet .. but ... other ... and a false feeling of happiness ...
Why do I do?
I guess just for that feeling ... My life is so gray, boring ... meaningless, that ... for such a time like this .. I'll do anything.
I feel so often ..!
soaked up the red stróżki views on the leg .. bakes, but it does not matter (a pleasant pain) ... at this moment nothing matters ... I do not care .... I just want to feel the blood ... pain .. and fortunately so rare ... Am I insane?
does not matter .. Nothing is important ...
just waiting to die ...
Which once I write these words?
do not know ... I do not care!
12/24/2006
Razorblade ...
That's again ...
But it's better than booze and ćpać ...
Truth!
Please tell me that it's true ...
Who do I actually write?
Ah, well yes .. to each other ...
True!
19/02/2007
Today my birthday! ..
And I what I think? About this sick life ...
to my class got a new boyfriend ...
From what I called the Sai ...
great draws! In the past we'd be friends for sure. But now everyone has already told him that I am an orphan. Eh ... joined the elite ...... moreover, do not blame him, I finally also in his place I would live. Well it's time to prepare for another tiring day at school!
a comeback on the birthday ... Do you got a gift? Well, of course!
black eye and broken hand!
Eh ... I have no strength, I want to sleep and we never wake up!
14/07/2007
stopped already do not do that ... I can be happy without blood!
moment just finish, I just have to smoke ...
Hehehe ... Well I've already got a good sense of humor (a long time since I was so happy smile never leaves my face) .. This is the third day, but at least now I do not feel bad! ..
how I love this world! Color .. hehe .. full of colorful little men .. I'm going to go ...
I saw the blue people!
05/01/2008
Forgive me for so long I did not write ... Again, I feel bad .. Damn, I want only to sleep ..
Gone are the money .. and for that I got from Sai'a because I owe him a lot .. Does not he can just give me this for free?!
I have to wait till next month ..... But I want to ... I really need it ... Nobody in bidulu not see what was happening to me, because nobody pays attention to me ...
need ... I need ... I need ... Although gram ... although a few milliliters ...
Sai!
will give, but give ... Please Give!
God, what is happening to me ... my hands are shaking .. I can not write .. I have ...
19/02/2008
Yes. Again. I am. Na. Chaju.
Eh ... I do not care because I do not pour the product ..
I really did it with him .. and it is just to get that enough would be enough to me just two days!
God, I know that he is gay .. although I can not say that I did not like, but ... Why? I've done such a thing, for some stupid addiction ... phi .. as I wanted to throw .. I do not want .. I ....
Thanks this I am happy ..
And just going back to what I had to describe .. it was really amazing ..
started to kiss, and he put his hand in my boxers ... I was .. excited .. He began to undress me, and I've not been able to escape ... When I was naked, he looked at my emaciated body .. as if they judged it to be ... I turned around and drove back at me without any preparation .. I yelled in pain, and I felt tears on her cheeks. He's aware of this and he did I quickly move your hips. At some point, the pain turned into pleasure, a scream coming from my mouth moaning in pleasure, which were the loudest when hit in the prostate. It was so ... pleasant? .. no more ... interesting. I came, and he's after me. He said that well I wrote down and told her to bathe, and stated that I would be his lover, because in spite of emaciation (I did not want to eat) I am fairly attractive. He handed me three ampoules and told me to come to an end ... that is, for two days ..
20/05/2008
now in its third month I give the use ... God .. I endure lower and lower .. far from the bottom?
I guess I can not live without it .. Die? Maybe it is not yet too late for me, but .. I need more .. Soon I am going to another children's home .. Someone saw my condition .. but I knew nobody there! God can not stand without it !!... I do not want to go there, but maybe something is changed ...
25/06/2008
I'm tired!
rope ready, just one last time to look at the sky, these mountains and the stars.
I want to die.
10/07/2008
cco? What the hell happened?
Why do I live!?
I know, my keeper found me, the doctors examined me and found traces of needles and after żyletce .. Now I'm under close observation ... Damn! Worse could not have been ... Jeju forgot ... to all this was for me anorexic! God, that I'm supposed to cure!? What a ...
08/12/2008
Come watch me, but did not forbid me to write ... probably do not think that will try to commit suicide?! I'm just too big a coward ...
09/30/2008
I hate you!
I hate this vile world,
I hate all these people,
hate trees, animals, flowers, buildings and cities ...
And the most ... I hate myself the most!
YES!
Let me finish ...
Why, why am I so weak?
I can not even get onto the roof and end ... with all of this ...
19/10/2008
again one of the worst days ... rehab this shit!
I want to hit anything and everything ...
What?
Kill me, slay ...
Do whatever I had not seen for a moment what the world is ...
02/11/2008
I'm afraid ...
do not know what ...
I am fearless ...
I'm afraid ..
Let this dream has come ...
May end up with life ...
I'm afraid ...
I night ...
Stars ..
moon ...
Away from the day!
I'm afraid ...
And still, still the same ...
I'm afraid ..
That what I will be, what can you do when in the dark and during the day, still, still I'm alone!
11/25/2008
Lying, I have no strength to get up for so long I'm falling ...
And still I do not see the bottom ..
We There Yet?
I've been trying to stop?
To return to the top?
I do not want to ...
now only dream about to close my eyes and sleep .. sleep forever ..
24/12/2008
Already I was hoping that this is the end that ... I take a step forward ... and they came back .. nightmares haunt me again at night ...
Stop! Stop it!
I cried in my sleep .. I, who never cries .. is always strong .. I cried ...
03/01/2009
already understood the fact that I'm gay ... i. .. I have no reason to laugh ... came to class new boy Sasuke ... I can not say that he is not handsome, but surely he will treat me like the others, in the end how I look .. sunken cheeks, thin, scars on his hands, pale skin and blue lips .... nightmare is not it? Blond hair standing on either side, combed by the wind and sad blue eyes .. Whoever looked at me? Only arouse disgust ...
17/02/2009
But Sasuke is cool with me, talking to friends in general ... I have heard that it is gay .. I may have a chance with him ...
God, what I write! I would-be suicide, a former junkie, anorexic, who was struck .. I have had this chance in your ideal? Do not convince yourself it is worth such nonsense .. if I did not know how the world!
12/03/2009
Sasuke invited me to her and helped with the backlog ... Eh .. as soon as look at him hurts my heart ... I love him ... but it's better for me he spoke about it, because I lose my only friend what I have .. For the first time people saw a smile on my face .. took on some weight and no longer look like a zombie ... And I met my brother and brunet - Itachi ... moment he is not mine! ... sigh ... as I love him ..
19/04/2009
Sasuke told me that I fell in love with me ... I thought my heart get away from your chest ... a wonderful day .. Sasuke loves me ... Sasuke loves me ... God how I love him ...
05/01/2009
Today we did it. I felt so good .. The first time I did it with someone you love ... May the day never ends! I love Sasuke!
05/05/2009
It was a bet! I do not know what to do ... again almost reached for a razor blade ... if I knew someone here, probably come back to as Drug ... what should I do? I love him so!
10/05/2009
This life .. barely smoldering in me ... what it is for me the value?
None ...
When I became aware of this?
long, ... and now I do not really matter to me .. I'm alone .. I have a loathing for each other .. was used again .. I believe .. that he feels something for me ... since I learned the truth, avoid it!
I would like to erase the past .. damage that can not be!
15/05/2009
This is the last cry of despair at what I can do .. I live, but do not exist .. time terminate the existence .. eventually ceased to watch over me 24 ...
There is no longer for me to return ...
Life is despicable, and I know them, it will come to know me from Hell ...
I play cards with him ... what rate?
Life ...
And so I have nothing to lose ... It has no value to me ....
lost ...
I. .. I am finally at the bottom ...
That same day, Naruto jumped from the railway viaduct, was killed on the spot. He did not give my brother to come to vote, and he really loved him and he just wanted to cancel the earlier plant. It turned out that the blond left Sasuke letter:
The envelope was still drawing:
My brother broke. Daily blonde walked to the grave. At the end of the month, and undercut his wrists. He left me a letter in which he asked me to bury him beside Uzumakiego. Yes I did.
And today I stand over the graves of the diary and drawings in hand. Why do people have to die? Why is this child like Naruto had to experience such terrible things? I do not know. I do not think anyone knew, but one thing is certain. Anyone ever go away.
I put my diary and drawing on the graves. Behind me stand all those who formerly blond shoving. Or only after death, people will notice us?
End.
If I do not find the road itself, sets it ... "L'histoire est un roman qui a ete, Le roman est une histoire qui aurait pu être." History is the story of what happened, story-story that could happen. 
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